Monday, March 29, 2010

The puzzle piece that just doesn't fit..

Ever feel like you are just kinda awkwardly out of place? That is how I have been feeling lately. Not in a completely bad way persay, but I'm kinda stumped. I haven't been myself...I have kinda felt withdrawn from the things that I LOVE and have brought me so much comfort. Exercise and socializing have almost been a foreign thought as of late...I feel change coming...(i know, duh, Matthew is graduating....) I just keep thinking..Heavenly Father, just help me to be able to hear your voice so that I know what it is that I need to do.
I have watched so many good friends move away...its hard to keep starting over. You build up a friendship, and then it seems like it just slips away with the miles that are between us and them. I don't want it to be like that, but it just kinda happens. I cry when I think about the friends that we have made, the memories that Max has of people, and then the day comes when I ask him if he remembers so and so, and he looks at me confused and says....nope. I mean, these people were around more than family, and all it takes is enough time to pass and he forgets them.
I don't know what life has in store for me and my family. Heck I don't have the slightest clue where I will be in 6 months. I know I am not alone in this quandry. In fact, I know many people that are trying to figure out this same thing. I just really feel uncomfortable not 'knowing'. I'm a planner through and through.
I know that I just need to "Be still and know that He is God"

I don't know why I felt like posting this...but somehow I feel better.

7 comments:

  1. I totally understand how you feel! I've had a really tough time making friends again for some reason. It gets sad and exhausting after a while- especially in these wards with such high turnover. And I feel so isolated from the rest of the ward being in a house instead of a complex. Let me/us know if you ever want to get together! We are hermits lately and I'm not so fond of it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Writing down my feelings always helps me feel better too. I think Charles is probably sick of me crying that I am constantly on the look out for a new best friend after all my friends move away and we move away. It is emotionally exhausting to keep starting over. I hope you find out soon where you're going so you can start planning your life!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I understand, too, Connie. It is part of the challenge of this time of life when everything is so transient. I know, though. It makes me sad to look at Jonathan with the kids he plays with now, and to think that he won't remember them in a couple years makes me sad. Keep smiling, and you can always call me! (assuming you get to feeling like it...) Good luck with all the decisions!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know exactly how you feel. It has always been so hard for me to "start over" in making new friends and establishing new social circles. This move has been especially hard for me because of the area we live in our ward boundaries are very spread out. But i totally agree with you that if we just sit back and let the Lord take care of us we'll be surprised the way that he works in his quiet and mysterious ways and blesses us for our patience. I miss you guys so much!!!! Please call me anytime. Seriously there is no bad time for me and Madsen and I would love to hear from you guys. He misses Max and Sambo so much, along with everybody else. Whenever he sees pictures of you guys or even just the swingset outside the apartment he talks about getting on an airplane to go play outside with all his friends. we love you guys!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Connie, we (meaning me) have been feeling the same way too. I'm so excited to be moving on soon (and that's hard, not having a set date yet) but I'm nervous about moving into new circles, into a family ward, and most of all, leaving all the wonderful friends behind. There will never be another Connie in my life, and I'm going to miss you. It would be just the best if we could all stay within a few miles and see each other now and then. But then, I suppose that's not how it's supposed to work out. We hope to stay in contact, and at least see you and your family now and then.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Connie--I love you!!! Anytime you feel out of place, swing by!! You're always welcome here and you fit in, mostly b/c we're all weirdos here. But I know how you feel, for sure. The friends I made in that ward are unforgettable, and it's sad that we all spread out all over the country. I miss everyone. But you guys are awesome and I know the Lord has something great in store for you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow Connie-sounds like everyone feels that way (from the comments). Thanks for expressing it so nicely for us all. But I know what you mean. When you've been the one who has stayed and everyone else has moved away, it gets hard to put yourself out there and make a bunch of new friends. I don't wish this time of life away, but I am excited for some more stability and constancy.

    ReplyDelete

Boys all dressed up for Church

Boys all dressed up for Church
They really do love eachother so much. Max is always asking to hold Sam.

Sam is really excited to play outside, can't you tell

Blessing Day

Blessing Day
This was a really special day. We blessed Sam in Missoula, Montana at my parents house so that all of our family could be there. It was the last Sunday before Christmas, almost everyone was there, and the lights of the Christmas tree were on. So so so special.

Followers